And so, after some thought, he stood up from his couch and started toward his car. The beat to "Together" by The Raconteurs was playing in his head.
"You and me, forever,
We belong, together."
We belong, together."
It resonated behind the eyes and deep in the chest. He had to see her; he had to talk to her.
And so he jumped into his car and tore off down the road. It was almost feverish now, the feeling in his heart. He opened up the throttle and accelerated.
"Your friends have thrown a kink in the single life,
You've had too much think, now you need a wife,"
You've had too much think, now you need a wife,"
was playing in the background, but he didn't hear.
And as he shot around the final curve to where Aedral's house was, he missed the other car coming the other way.
Tesal died in the emergency room 6 hours later. He put up a terrific fight, but was unable to sustain the blood loss. He died without telling Aedral that he loved her, without telling her that he couldn't stand being without her.And now the world is a less happy place
2 comments:
You have a sort of satire about your sentence structure that takes away from the tragedy of the story. People die in car accidents all the time. So the tragedy isn't very tragic. Its more like a statistic, especially since you don't make the reader very attached to the character, so losing the main character doesn't seem very epic, it could have been anyone.. that happened to be listening to that song.
Jason said that I have a sort of satire and tragedy mixed together and they can't. He suggested trying to change out the sentence structure, and absolutely getting rid of the parenthesis.
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